Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline, post Hominid skull." We have given this specimen careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie.' It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings.
However, we feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:
The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with that of a common domesticated canine (dog) than it is of the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it. Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed upon. Clams don't have teeth.
http://straight.fromhell.com/~wams/archaeology/
saw a guy getting cuffed today.
"how desperate one might feel when everything you want to believe in has already been pronounced pointless or suspect. "
Ash to ashes bunk to bunkey, we know major toms a junky, strung out on heaven's high....
When I worked near Telegraph I saw a bunch of cops chasing this super skinny kid. He must have weighed like 125 pounds and 4 or 5 cops were converging on him (I assume he had shoplifted). They had been chasing him for a while cause all the cops were winded and pissed off. They kept yelling "stop" but he wouldnt stop, and they circled him, and he just kept running in a smaller and smaller circle. Finally, they had him cornered. This huge fat cop just hauls off and tackles him for no reason. Sort of just clotheslines him. I never saw anyone get hit so hard. I thought for sure he was dead. But no, he just gets up and brushes himself off, and they cuff him.
I love that kid and I think about him often. Its a little movie that plays in my head.
can't help but like the symbolism. is the background to all of our world's these generic suburban homes. like it. symbolic, meaningful. if easy. what's wrong with easy. it's satisfying. like smoking dope in the basement of your parents house. or casting spells on kids you hate in junior high school. secrret girl and boy stuff.
I went by Anthropologie last nite and they had this window display with hanging plastic soda bottles that was a total rip off of Tony Feher. I think Simon Doonan has started something with the window dressers. Revolucion.
yeah I saw some hanging things in a store window too, forget where- in the teens between fifth and seventh aves - furnbiture stores and clothing stores - the hint of art without the content. Refreshing like Poland Spring.
10 comments:
love it, recalls my first evenings as a small child when i first started drinking, barfing on the side of my lawn in the subhurbs.
I need better drugs.
Out back theres stuff in the dirt.
Dear Sir:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled "211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline, post Hominid skull." We have given this specimen careful and detailed examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to be the "Malibu Barbie.' It is evident that you have given a great deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with your findings.
However, we feel that there are a number of physical attributes of the specimen which might have tipped you off to its modern origin:
The material is molded plastic. Ancient hominid remains are typically fossilized bone.
The cranial capacity of the specimen is approximately 9 cubic centimeters, well below the threshold of even the earliest identified proto-hominids.
The dentition pattern evident on the "skull" is more consistent with that of a common domesticated canine (dog) than it is of the "ravenous man-eating Pliocene clams" you speculate roamed the wetlands during that time. This latter finding is certainly one of the most intriguing hypotheses you have submitted in your history with this institution, but the evidence seems to weigh rather heavily against it.
Without going into too much detail, let us say that:
The specimen looks like the head of a Barbie doll that a dog has chewed upon.
Clams don't have teeth.
http://straight.fromhell.com/~wams/archaeology/
saw a guy getting cuffed today.
"how desperate one might feel when everything you want to believe in has already been pronounced pointless or suspect. "
Ash to ashes bunk to bunkey, we know major toms a junky, strung out on heaven's high....
When I worked near Telegraph I saw a bunch of cops chasing this super skinny kid. He must have weighed like 125 pounds and 4 or 5 cops were converging on him (I assume he had shoplifted). They had been chasing him for a while cause all the cops were winded and pissed off. They kept yelling "stop" but he wouldnt stop, and they circled him, and he just kept running in a smaller and smaller circle. Finally, they had him cornered. This huge fat cop just hauls off and tackles him for no reason. Sort of just clotheslines him. I never saw anyone get hit so hard. I thought for sure he was dead. But no, he just gets up and brushes himself off, and they cuff him.
I love that kid and I think about him often. Its a little movie that plays in my head.
can't help but like the symbolism. is the background to all of our world's these generic suburban homes. like it. symbolic, meaningful. if easy. what's wrong with easy. it's satisfying. like smoking dope in the basement of your parents house. or casting spells on kids you hate in junior high school. secrret girl and boy stuff.
because life sometimes is like a chumbawumba song and that's a tacky feeling
I liked the shells
Arcimboldo
the cook
I went by Anthropologie last nite and they had this window display with hanging plastic soda bottles that was a total rip off of Tony Feher. I think Simon Doonan has started something with the window dressers. Revolucion.
Anthropologie .... We should rejoice!
The death-throes of string-hanging-kulture are finally evident.
Not that Cornelia Parker wasn't kick-ass, but
hanging's gotta go, and it's goin'!
Maybe it'll free-up some walking-room in my studio....
yeah I saw some hanging things in a store window too, forget where- in the teens between fifth and seventh aves - furnbiture stores and clothing stores - the hint of art without the content. Refreshing like Poland Spring.
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